He breaks me.
He always, always breaks me when I ask Him to. Sometimes I'm like, What the- maybe I should pray for something else...?
I find, even though those have been some of the most difficult times of my life, I wouldn't have it any other way. All of those broken times in my life- every single one- continued to reveal to me just how faithful the Lord really is.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh," (Ezekiel 36: 26).And that is what He did and continues to do in my life. I think, even now, He is breaking me without any circumstance bringing me down. Everything in my life is going pretty good, but He's still working in my life. He's been constantly reminding me what it looks like to be a servant.
It started with an image of a nurse kneeling beside a child's deathbed. Kneeling. This was her job, but she genuinely cared for this child.
Then there's the story of the good Samaritan. A man was beat, robbed and left to die on the side of the road. Both a priest and a Levite saw him but continued on, deciding they need not help him. But a Samaritan, who was traveling, and most likely had somewhere else to be, took pity on the man. He got to his knees- down to the man's level- and bandaged him up. He took on the weight of this man and lifted him onto his donkey. This man was a servant.
As servants we are warned not to do it for others to see.
"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your father in heaven," (Matthew 6:1).It says the same thing, not only about giving to the needy, but about prayer and fasting. Hypocrites do it to be seen as righteous, but is most likely never done when they're alone. They received their reward.
"store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steel. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also," (Matthew 6:20-21).And of course there's our ultimate example: Jesus Christ. The Lord has shown us what is good. He has shown us what it means to be a servant. For our very God of the universe came, not in power or to rule over us, but as a humble servant to save us. Let us take after His example.
He has revealed to us His love and it is because of this that we should learn from Him and love our neighbors. This is what He asked us to do. We might not feel like giving love- what does that even mean? How do we even love someone. Love is not a gooey feeling. We are to serve others and put them before ourselves and the feeling of love will follow.
Lord means master. When we call him Lord, we are calling ourselves slaves.
So why then, do we call him Lord and not do what he says? I want to be willing to step forward when He tells me to. I want to make an impact in my little corner of the world. I want to be a servant.
