Sometimes life is too difficult to bear.
Sometimes life throws a fast one at you and you hit the ground hard. Or at least it feels like it.
I thought I was doing God's will. I thought God revealed something He had planned for me and then snatched it away, leaving me bruised and crushed. I had a hard time with it. My faith and hope were crashing down hard and I held on to the only remaining drops I could find.
I found it in me to trust Him in the midst of the pain. And to be completely honest I was hurt that He would do this to me. I feared that I would never trust Him again.
Then four days later I got fired from my job.
Oh, the rejection of being told, "you have good ethics, it just isn't working out. We're going to have to let you go."
That's it.
No warnings. No time to fix my wrongs. No answers as to what I even did wrong. Just a "sorry" and a "we'll mail you your check."
I walked out of the building confused and crushed as I'd ever been.
I turned to God, different from the last time. This time I was mad, and so hurt that He would first take my dreams and desires and then snatch away my security.
"Why would you bless me and then take it away without warning," I cried out to God. "Haven't I given you everything?"
No.
Plain and simple. I hadn't. My heart was set on a guy. Not on God. I felt security in knowing God would give me the desires of my heart. That if it was His will for us to be together, we would be together. And it was His will. I was just so sure.
I had forgotten to seek Him. To run to Him. To pray to Him. To give Him all of me- the good, the bad and the ugly.
I acted like He was obviously going to bless me. I mean, come on.
In reality, He is by no means obligated to bless me. but He chooses to. And sometimes He chooses to take away as well. And you know what? That's okay too.
"He replied, 'You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept the good from God, and not trouble?'" (Job 2:10)I want to encourage you in whatever circumstance or struggle it is that you're facing in the present time. Though it may feel as if God has abandoned you, purposely left you in your pain. I want you to know that it's simply not true.
I knew God had a plan for my life, and that all this pain and struggle must have been part of His plan, but that just hurt me more. Because that meant He was hurting me on purpose, right? But He didn't put me in this situation and leave me alone. Instead, He listened to every cry of anger and hurt. Every confused and crushed thought I threw at Him.
And He met me there. He reminded me that He was in control. and when I cried out to him saying,
"You don't deserve my anger and questioning, but I know you're listening. So what do you want me to do?"
Trust me. That's what I believe He told me in that moment of struggle.
So trust Him. He knows what He's doing. Though, it may not take away from your pain, it is such a blessing knowing that God wants to use this in our lives for a very big purpose. To grow us and nurture us. It is the biggest blessing to know that He finds you precious enough to invest Himself in you and your life. It is an honor to go through these valleys because it is used to prepare us for more. to sharpen and mold us into his likeness.
He has a plan. It's best not to forget that.
"They don't know that this is the making of God's people, that they are wheat being threshed, gold being refined, (Micah 4:12).
"And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14)
"When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold," (Job 23:9-10).
"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails," (Proverbs 19:21).
"'For I know the plans I have for you,'declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," (Jeremiah 29:11).
Original Photo By Jenna Peterson
