If I Were Standing Before You

Psalm 51:10

If I were standing before You I'd marvel at Your majesty. 

If I were standing before You I'd thank You for Your love. 

I'd mention my mom to You, reminding You of how much I loved her, and I'd ask You to soften her heart and to draw her near to You like never before.

If I were standing before You, I'd ask You to heal my step mom, but if it weren't in Your will I'd ask You to use her testimony to draw others to You and to bring You glory.

If I were standing before You I'd hide my eyes because I'd know that You saw all that was in my heart, but I'd ask You to create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 

And then shyly, I'd make a request known. One that was for myself. 

But I'd be scared to, because someone once told me that a gift is not asked for, but received. 

So I'd lay before You my dreams, my longings, my desires, and I'd begin to ask You to be gentle until I realized You wouldn't do it any other way. I'd come to find out that my deepest desires were important to You. 

And that's when the burden would be lifted. Because I'd know that I can trust You with what means the most to me. I could trust You even if it was not what You had planned for me, because Your way was better. So much better. 

If I were standing before You I'd fall to my knees, asking You to form me into the woman You've always wanted me to be, even if I knew it would include pain. 

If I were standing before You, I'd ask You to forget what I wanted and have Your way. 

And that's when I realize You've been listening this whole time.