Oh Christmas. It's my favorite time of year.
But this year is different for me.
Rather than being filled with joy, I'm filled with this un-taming sense of sadness. It's just the opposite of how it should be, but when I see Christmas, I see, not just Jesus being born, but what he was born for.
I see the cross.
And yes, this should bring me joy. The fact that Jesus has saved me does bring me joy, but the fact that his suffering up on that cross, was because of me- well that just makes me sad, to say the least.
I've heard it said that if I were the only one on this earth, he still would have died for me. I always assumed he would only do it if I wanted him to, but I think it's more than that. I think even if I didn't want him to die for me, he would.
Look at the disciples, when Jesus mentioned his death, they went mad. But he did it anyway.
Jesus even asked God to forgive those who killed him.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" Ecclesiastes 3:1 and 4.
I don't know why, but I mourn for the reason Jesus came. He came to die.
Eventually I will see it more clearly, and I will rejoice. But now is my time to mourn.
P.S. Sorry about my sad post.
