It's so easy for me to get in the woe-me mindset. To forget all that I have and all God's done for me and the blessings he has in store for me. I over think
He doesn't like me and probably never will, I should just move on. Is this what God has for me? What if it isn't, then I should just forget it. Out of all the ladies he has to choose from, why would he ever choose me?
It's also achieved, without great effort, to notice (as a single lady) the many looks of pity and empathy I get from family and strangers. You poor thing, they say with their eyes, What a lonely life you must lead.
But thing is, as I've been growing to notice, I'm okay with being single. More than okay, actually. I'm excited. Of course I look forward to being in a relationship, but it doesn't make that particular time of my life more important than the one I'm living today. There are times when I think God wants for me to lead a slow and steady life, but I think deep down I know that He has a big plan for me, if only I'll reach out and act. With this in mind, there's no reason for me to pity myself and spend lonely nights at my humble abode, eating ice cream as I sulk and long after a romance similar to the one being portrayed on the screen in front of me. He has a plan for me.
Big plans don't just happen over night. I mean, look at the definition of the word plan.
noun
A detailed proposal for doing or achieving something
verb
2. design or make a plan of (something to be made or built).
A proposal.
This is something God proposes that we do. It's not something that will occur by chance or force, but is something that He elaborately designed for us. It doesn't mean we have to live it out.
I don't think that God designs things half-heartedly. This is the God that designed the blade of grass, soft enough to lay on, yet sharp enough to cut. This is the God that designed the circle of life- the food chain as you may call it- where animals live, eat and die in a wondrous fashion that allows the planet to continue in motion, life and all. This is the God who created the the cell, and the atom. So small that it is entirely impossible to cut in half, but within, stems the genesis of life. This is the God who never before quite or acted on a job half heartedly, and every time, every single time, resulted in something wondrous, beyond what we could fathom.
Just like we are worth more than many sparrows, His plans for us will bring Nicholas Sparks to shame. (Which doesn't really say a lot, seeing as all his books end in tragedy). Let me rephrase; He will put Jane Austen to shame. Or maybe F. Scott Fitsg- okay never mind. You get the point.
Let me finally loop back to long forgotten point: He's a good planner.
So now, as I sit with my Ben and Jerry's and stare longingly at the TV, I remember that He has more for me than this. I glance at my bible protruding from my purse, it's turquoise color appealing to the eye. I think of the cross, Old Testament stories, and also my own.
There is a story here, I think to myself, as beautiful as the one on TV is, there is one that can bring life. I smile this time, thinking of more than just one.
I glance back down at my Bible, and with a click of the remote, it changes everything- one life or thousands, I couldn't know- as I reach down and grab it.
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21).
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